Luxe by Liz: Ultimate throwback thursday post

Tomorrow is my twentieth birthday! I cannot believe it is already here and after finally getting a good night sleep last night, I feel like I can finally be excited for my birthday weekend. I have been reflecting a lot over the past year and all that has happened and I honestly think that it was probably the most important year of my life thus far and the year I did the most growing. One year ago today, I moved from suburban area to Philadelphia with my fiance at the time. Our first place was a complete rip off and was not in the fancy part of town but it was in the city and it was "ours" and that's what made it awesome. A lot of people disagreed with our decision to move in together prior to being married, but I am very happy I did it. The best and possibly only way to really 'grow up' is to just get out there on your own and figure out how to make it work. Being an adult doesn't come with a handbook, you earn the title when you take on your own responsibilities. If a white, 19 year old girl can move to the ghetto and make something of herself and support herself, then anybody can. This is really cliche but it makes me think of the Drake song 'started from the bottom now we are here,' you gotta start somewhere if you want to get anywhere. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is if you want anything out of this life, you make it for yourself and nothing good comes easy or comes to those who are lazy.
I also got married over the past year and married life is a huge transition also. Like any married person will tell you, it is a lot of hard work. Married life is nice, I love my husband very dearly, but marriage should never be anyone's be all and end all goal. You get married and then life goes on. The biggest thing I have learned from being married is to not rely on anyone else for my happiness, not even my spouse. I have to make myself happy and find peace myself- my husband or anyone for that matter cannot provide me with peace and happiness and I shouldn't expect them to. Marriage is two whole people coming together to make something great, not two incomplete halves coming together to make one.
After being married for only 4 months, we then found out that our family was no longer just the two of us and our cat but would be expanding with a little daughter. That was a very exciting event to find out we were pregnant but I had no idea how miserable it would really be. In the movies it looks fun and the pregnant ladies look so cute so why wouldn't it work that way for me? Haha.... what a joke. I could list all the complications and surgeries etc that have happened during the past 8 months but I don't think anyone really cares to hear so instead I will just tell you what I have learned from the painful and miserable experiences of pregnancy. It comes down to happiness... which now I'm starting to notice a common thread here. Everyone says I will be so happy when she is born and that's nice I'm sure I will be very happy, but then I will be presented with a screaming, vomiting, poop machine. And what will you tell me then? That it will get better when she has grown out of it? It really bothers me when people say the best is yet to come or just to wait until the next stage of life, because the stark reality is: life sucks and is always full of some kind of shit you have to deal with no matter what stage you are at. Like I have sort of said previously, life is about creating a better today. Don't count on circumstances to make you happy or bring you what you want. Everyone is an artist with brush in hand and can decide to either paint happiness on their canvas or sadness. Did you paint a sad canvas yesterday? Well paint over it with a happy one today and keep painting happiness until you have made the masterpiece that is your life. Happiness is not a destination, but a choice that you are presented with every single day. So yes, being pregnant has been extremely miserable for me. But I still choose happiness because if I don't choose it today then it will make it easier to not choose it again tomorrow or the next day. And if I can be happy today, then I know I can create happiness when presented with a screaming poop machine or a terrible tot or an evil teenager. Happiness does not depend on circumstances or people, you create it for yourself if you want the kind that lasts.
Reflecting over the past year, I realize I have learned a lot of really valuable lessons about happiness, life and family. I realized it is okay to cut people out of your life if they are abusive, even if it is a family member. I have learned that divine timing is everything, and how everything DOES work together in your favor eventually if you have pure intentions. I have learned to really cherish my parents and the good family that I do have and value their wisdom. I have learned first hand what slum lords are and what it feels like to have the hot water connected to the toilet instead of the shower (funny story behind this...). But most importantly I have learned about happiness and how to love those around me a little better, trust me, I'm still not a pro at this though!! So as my teenage chapter comes to an end, I look forward to all the lessons my twenties will teach me as well as my daughter and husband- my zen masters ;)

A few shots from the past year including our first place, wedding and pregnant bellies...

our first apartment...

first Christmas together as a married couple

Wedding :)

First snow storm endured together... It doesn't snow much in Africa or ATL so we are both fairly new to the whole snow thing

When I first found out I was going to be able to attend Yogalife institute. What an exciting day!!

7 week old baby girl...small bellies become big bellies.

The little stinker right before mommies surgery.


Buying product for my shop when I first opened it. Tickets to this event were my birthday present last year.

And for the heck of it and because it is a Thursday I will include a few throwback Thursday shots from way back in the day... go ahead and laugh. They are funny.